Sans: wow. seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says “what about the kids” and the rhabi reply’s to him saying “fuck the kids” and the priest says “think we got enough time”
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers?
Brother; because their beautiful!
Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't.
Brother:......
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom and you think your in the clear but the Down syndrome kid says “goodbye”
what is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
Why did Helen Kellers dog run away, you'd run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? - Because they don't C#.
Why wouldn’t Mr Bee 🐝 push Ms Bee 🐝 away?
Believe he loves his honey.
My grandpa may be a pedo but at least he slows down in the school car park
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: ........ oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
I finally stopped drinking for good
Now I purely drink for evil
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back
A orphans parents
