Humor

What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

The thot that counts.

My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.

What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.

What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced.

Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spareribs!

Vagina jokes aren't funny.

Most of the time.

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

What does a cow say when he remembers something?

"I have deja moo!"

What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?

A baby in a blender.

What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?

Fetus Deletus!

Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.

Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.