Humor Jokes

Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

Why did the bum get a slap ?

Because it was being to cheeky

You want to hear some marriage jokes?

Don't worry it's just a couple.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son

What do you call a dog with no legs...

My asian neighbors dinner.

chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket

why do emos like yo-yo's? cos they get strangled by the string

I would tell a scoliosis joke

but that would be completely out of line

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex? A microtransaction.

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.