Humor
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
Memes
for real
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"