Humor
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"