Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

1

What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."

What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?