Humor
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
Memes
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"