Humor
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
I would tell a scoliosis joke.
But that would be completely out of line.
A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
My sister's name is Coco, and one day she was funny, so I told her, "You coconut."
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.