Humor
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
Stop the orphan jokes!
Orange you glad to see me?
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.