Humor

Emo jokes are not funny, so cut it out.

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.

Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?

Because they are full of ears!

Now that was a corny joke.

And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.

No matter how much I love cake...

I would never dessert you.

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

An orphan's parents.

Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”

Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”

Patient: “Right around the entrance.”

Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”

When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."

What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.

I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?

Because he loves his honey.

I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.

I've seen too many of them get elected.