Humor
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
If 7 8 9 why was ten scared?
It was right in the middle of 9/11.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"