Abortion clinic

(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)

What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?

The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.

KFC

What's the darkest point in the universe?

The inside of a KFC.

  • 6
  • Pilot

    pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

    passengers: *start freaking out*

    pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

    passengers: *sigh with relief*

    pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

    Vagina

    So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

    Memes

    Skeleton

    I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!

  • 7
  • Hitler

    What's the difference between you and Hitler?

    Hitler knew when to kill himself.

  • 4
  • Romaine

    What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

    The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

  • 2
  • Robot

    What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.

  • 0
  • Woman

    A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

    After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”

    She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

    To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

  • 5
  • Cash

    My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."

  • 0