Humor
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Memes
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.