Humor

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A vanilla shake.

When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.

The image shows a two-panel meme. In the first panel, Godzilla and King Kong are fighting on a ship. Above them, the text reads "People making political memes" and "People making wholesome memes". In the second panel, Godzilla and King Kong are still fighting, but in the foreground, a doge points a golden beam at them and the text next to the doge reads "Me just shit posting".

A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?

Cracking open a cold one with the boys.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.