Humor
How do you shrivel a dick?
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!