Humor
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.