Humor
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In tiny Knotsies.
Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
Memes
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.