Humor
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
Call me an escalator because I let people down.