Language

What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

Baby

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

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  • Memes

    Orphan

    Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.

    Student: OOFT.

    Teacher: Who are we missing?

    Student: Your parents.

    Country song

    what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

    Antenna

    Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!

    People

    When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."

    Orgasm

    What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

    I don't care if she has either.

    Stereotype

    What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."

    Drone

    What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

    The drone guy didn't know either.

    Orphan

    Me: Are you an orphan?

    Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?

    Me: ....ur parents.

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  • Major

    What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

    The thot that counts.