What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
Humor
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
