Humor
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground? A bolder choice.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
I love fard 😋
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Arsenal
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
LAMO.