Humor
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Memes
Hunter Biden after hitting a blunt caught in 4K
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
What's up, bitches? Miss me?