Humor
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and The Statue Of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something! 😂
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!