Humor
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Why can't you run through a campground?
Because it's "past tents!"
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
The only joke here is the topic.
Memes
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(