Humor

Why are these jokes bad?

They're literally the worst jokes ever.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

How does the earth rate its sex?

Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.

If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

I have a picture of Uranus on my computer.

You know why morning food digests so quickly.

Because it breaks fast.

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why do 911 jokes always fail?

They always crash and burn!

Ur face.

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"