Humor
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
Why can't you run through a campground?
Because it's "past tents!"
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
What do you call a group of emos?
A cutting board.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What do you call a guy named Kaiden?
I don't know, lol.
9/11 jokes just don't fly around me.
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!