Humor
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
Memes
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
It's punny.
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."