Humor

I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.

What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?

I have a picture of Uranus on my computer.

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

How does the earth rate its sex?

Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.

If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Why’d the chicken cross the road?

To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!

“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.

How many balls do you have on your body?

2. Your butt.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.