Humor

The worst joke is no joke ;)

Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.

Orphan, they're enough of a joke.

I told this man to rev his vehicle.

Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.

These 9/11 jokes just don’t land.

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

How does the earth rate its sex?

Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.

If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!

You know why morning food digests so quickly.

Because it breaks fast.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣

I have a picture of Uranus on my computer.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.