Humor
Butt hehe.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Memes
I like this episode
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Do you know Candice?
"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!