Humor
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.
But why does 10 have PTSD?
Cuz it’s between 9/11.
Guys, am I funny?
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.