Humor
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
Kyle's penis is small.
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...