Humor
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Ironic that this page is dead.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
It's not incest if you're adopted.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
Kyle's penis is small.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.