Humor

what do you call a cow that fell?

Ground beef.

When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."

How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂

What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?

BONE-Appetit!

A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

I'd tell you a Kobe joke.

But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

All school meeting introductions:

Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.