Humor
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants? A: He heard the snowblower coming.
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.
1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
Don't touch my bot.