Humor

These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

All school meeting introductions:

Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

Your face is a joke.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!

What is the point of buttchins?

To catch flies.

What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?

JENGA!!!!