What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
Humor
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
Here's a joke: Your life.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
Wanna hear a terrible joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
Your face.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
