Humor
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why did Adam commit suicide? Andy went through the back door.
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
This is the biggest joke ever - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5j-BH_WdBXdzeoOdG2v2dA
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
You. You're the joke.
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"