Humor
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
weixian
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.