The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

Why should you never fart in an Apple store?

Because they have no Windows!

These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

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  • What did the man's dick say to the man?

    I just can't "hand"le it!

    What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

    They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

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  • What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

    Snow balls.

    Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

    When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."

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  • Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?

    They both have cum in it.

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  • My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.