Humor
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.
Ok, not really racist but still funny.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
Why?
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!
Hehehehehe.
Suicidal people are groundbreaking.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).