Humor

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.

For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏

Q. What makes music on your hair?

A. A headband!

Women: Can I have your number?

Jesus: No.

Women: Why? Are you scared?

Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.

What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?

Hang in there!

Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"

Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."

For every blonde in the world,

scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."

Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?

Til death do we park.

"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."

"No, not until their parents pick them up."

Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?

Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.

Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.

Josh is chubby.

Why did the ground crack? Because of your mum!