New Humor - Page 130 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because there is nobody to call "daddy."

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.

I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.

Gravity sure is fast.

What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?

Cheetah outta here!

My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔

Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.

What do you call a decapitated politician?

A severed head of state.

What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."

After every line, say “I’m a man.”

I went to the club. (I’m a man)

I met a girl. (I’m a man)

I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)

We got some drinks. (I’m a man)

I took her home. (I’m a man)

We got in bed. (I’m a man)

She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)

What do you call a skeleton's erection?

A boner.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?

Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.

Child: *realizes*

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.