Humor
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
The joke is you! 😂🤣😂🤣😂
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
Krusty nut
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.