Humor

Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?

I mean, the one I fucked died.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Daddy

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I did.

I did who?

You did a poo.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Ace♠Spade

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.

))

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

CoCk SuCkEr

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

that confused person

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and The Statue Of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something! 😂

How do you spell "I. P. With U?"

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

mucho_mango

When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.

When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.