New Humor - Page 81 - Worst Jokes Ever

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.

What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?

A Butt-asaurus.

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

I look at your bro.

And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

Dark jokes aren't funny... I can't see them at all.

POV: It's a rapists' groupchat, not a joke section. And it's SAD.

lolo.

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."