Hows jokes
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
Memes
You are the special
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.