Hows jokes
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
How i feel when...
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?