Hows jokes

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

How did I know where you would go next?

Oh, I felt it in my bones!

How do you annoy Pinocchio?

Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"

I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?

Because she runs away from balls.

Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.