Hows jokes
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
How i feel when...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!