Hows jokes
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.