How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
A kid asks his father, " How long is our trip dad?" The kids father says , " Our trip is a fortnite."
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? Then won't you slap my face, because I'm bad.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
How do you annoy Pinocchio? Ask him "Do you always tell lies?" (think about it)
2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
how did you get sally into a blender? -without much resistance how do you get sally out of a blender? -tortilla chips
How can you tell an anti vaccine kid
It's only got 10 hours to live
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-cersize everyday!
Person: So you know that persons name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dea Friend: Yeah John Wilkes Booth Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln. Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How many ears does Captain Picard have? -- Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass? satisfying
Race car backwards is race car. Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr colin, who loves making a din, he thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, that's not what everyone shows, about his life he ploughs and ploughs, about his dog bella and his relation-ship woes... mr colin, we do not care, when you speak, our minds are not there, your life you have unnecessarily shared, when we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr colin, rumbling about his exceptions, just when someone puts something in the bin, or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, but Mr Colin, drinking too much gin, will flail all his annoying attention on him, he'll push his limits, right to the rim... And just how i love flan~ Oh he's finally gone~
@DreamBlue
