How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
Hows Jokes
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
