Hows

Hows jokes

Gay Man

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

Body

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

Breakfast

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.

Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.

Knife

Dark Humor

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

Memes

Light Bulb

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

Ass

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

Bone

How did I know where you would go next?

Oh, I felt it in my bones!

Diarrhea

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

Firework

How do you start a dance party?

Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

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  • Inspiration

    Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

    She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

    Pornstar

    How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

    She was too used to grabbing the tip.

    Syndrome

    How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

    Wife

    My Wife: How much do you love me??

    Me: Count all the stars.

    My Wife: Aww, infinity.

    Me: No, a waste of time.

    Orphanage

    Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

    Terrorist

    I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

    Suicide

    Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?

    Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.