Hows jokes

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.

How much pussy does a priest get? None.

A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.

How is slavery different from Pokémon?

The types you can have.

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."