Hows jokes
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
How are orphans like Spider-Man?
No way home.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
Why did the 2 4s skip lunch? They already 8! Jahshshs.
And how did the pirate know that she saw land? She was shore of it! If u get it leave a like. Hahahahaha and which thing was heavier, a feather or steal? It's they way the same amount 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 Lol like
So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"
The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!