Hows jokes
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."