Hows jokes

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.

How much pussy does a priest get? None.

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.

How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!

How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?

Gingervitus.

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"

How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?

Depends how hard they blow out the candles.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"