Hows jokes
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Memes
How do mountains see? They peek.
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.