Hows jokes
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Memes
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
How do mountains see? They peek.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!