Hows jokes
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.