Hows Jokes

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

How do you spell ihop?

Then spell ihop and say "ness".

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

The image shows a two-panel meme. The top panel shows two penguins staring with big eyes, and the text reads, "Me zoned out staring at a fixed point:". The bottom panel depicts a child holding up a cross with a confused expression and the text reads, "The ghost in my room: How the flip can u see mE?! U need God".

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.

How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.