Hows jokes
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."