Hows jokes
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because they hate how he cares about family.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.