Hows jokes
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!