How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
How I talk: Hello
How Stitch talks: HeLlO.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Why did the rapper smoke dope?
To learn how to drop some DOPE beats!
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?
"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"
How do rappers stay organized?
With rhyme books instead of planners!
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
