Hows jokes
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know how to get to home.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
How do gay guys finish prayer?
“GAYMEN!”
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.