Hows jokes
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
How do birds pay? With their bills!
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Memes
Hollow Knight Meme
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.