Hows jokes

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?

A: From an overdose.

How does a blind person wipe their ass?

With braille toilet paper.

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4

Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

Bully: How would you know that?

Me: Because she told me herself.

Bully: How exactly?

Me: She's on the phone right now.

Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

Me: Told you so!

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.