Hows jokes
Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.
Anyways,
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
How do trannies pass successfully? By passing away.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?
With some HOT TRACKS!
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!