Hows jokes
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
How do birds pay? With their bills!
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.