House Jokes

FRIEND no so much " Hey wan to come to my house ?" sended lonly ORPHAN/ trump " want to come to my orphaige? sended

FRIEND not so much " dude im blocking you!" sended

Lonly orphan " :( sended

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I left my dog at home once and when I came home it was a mess, lets say I was in a RUFF situation

The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had a diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?🤷‍♂️💩

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

what does the sign say on the hooker house say afterwards they were on lockdown? A. We're on lockdown get lost pervert.

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and ask do i have any crack candy naw I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples all i have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich help yourself and while your at it clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere thank you mr toilet papers.

I was at my boyfriends house and I thought he was cheating on me and he was on the phone with somebody he said he'd be over there soon. so i asked him if I could see his phone he said no and then we fought about until I seen his gun and because I thought he was lying to me I shot him,went through his phone and his friend was still on the phone.

My daughter came home from school later then usual I was panicking then at 5:30pm she arrived not walking but in a bus 🚌 I asked where the hell did this bus come from! She said the garage in the alleyway mama I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons you like her she is called belle bus. My face was just:😑 how did u get the bus here she reply’s with a whisper I drove her through five gardens a house and two police cars! 🙃 so that explains why you have handcuffs on “yeah!”

So I'm the Cable Guy around the neighborhood and I do everybody's table so I walked into this one house and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs I was asking where her mom was and she wasn't answering and it looked like something was wrong so I asked if anything was wrong she didn't answer so I kind of raise my voice at her but she still didn't answer and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear

What is a home 🏡 that can fly? A magic house 🏠

grandma: calls you: hello grandma what are you doing why you can’t mean I’m right in the house right now grandma: I didn’t mean To call you bye

q:what did the sign say on the whore house a:beat it where closed

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke-up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey".

Have you ever stepped in Stephen hawking house? Nether has he.

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible. They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionarys. Things went from bad to worse.

Prince do u love that girl gwen more than me! Remember when u where at my house

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.