How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
House Jokes
Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.
Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
What kind of dress does a Roblox Floppa house have?
"ADDRESS!"
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
Roses are red, my toaster too,
Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
