House jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."