House jokes

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

"I look up to you."

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

What type of horse can jump higher than a house?

All houses can't jump.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Why was the piano waiting at the front door?

Because it forgot which key to use!

I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.

Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?

Because they can actually buy a house.

When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.