House jokes
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
What kind of house 🏠 can fly? A magic house 🏠!
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
Hi Freshfry, hi Alex, I did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brother's soccer game, and then people came to our house till 11:00. Lol, sorry :)
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: Ok.
An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: You are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!