House jokes

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

"I look up to you."

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Why was the piano waiting at the front door?

Because it forgot which key to use!

Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?

Because they can actually buy a house.

When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.