House jokes
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
What does a house wear?
A dress.
Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?
Answer: A home.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house to get to a tree and a house to get to the earth to get home 🏡? Day today I have to get my kids and oooooo.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
Son: Daddy?
Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.
Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?
Dad: Wtf are you talking about?
Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?
Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc
Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.
Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz
Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em
Mom: What the fugde is going on?
Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.
Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?
Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.
Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.
Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??
Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!
Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.
Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!
Son: Huh
Son: Mom FUCK U*
Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off
Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Son: Moms are the worst, are they?
Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.