House Jokes

i was walking and i saw a girl crying and she told me to take her doll house and i asked why?she said because i dont have one

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Bubba couldn't make rent so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead. I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.

if the moon landing was fake so is your house

There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight coz the parants ain't home

What does a orphan have that a homeless doesn’t?

A home but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?

A parent

I was invited into a celebrity's house, thats what i told the cops at least...

Why are wives also called a housekeeper? Because after the divorce, they keep the house.

When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"

Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . .

and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that." The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

The big hand is on the little hand!

Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet? Yeah neither has he

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Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof

There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.

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There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don't have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You're right it's very nice but i'have one thing that you don't have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don't have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I'm rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I'm rich.Why you have something that I don't have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!