Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
