House jokes
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
My friend: To get to the other side?
Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.
My friend: Oh.
Me: Knock knock.
My friend: Who's there?
Me: The chicken.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”
That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼♂️.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.