House jokes
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.