I did have a good night and I did a good night and I had to walk around the house š”
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "Youāll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Guys, I promise Iām not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
me: why did the chicken cross the road? my friend: the get to the other side? me: no, to get to the idiot's house my friend: oh me: knock knock my friend: who's there me: the chicken
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house? all houses cant jump
What did the creep do when the woman said, āMake yourself at home?ā
He hid in her attic.
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
