House

House jokes

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Time for a random Terraria joke.

Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.

The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.

After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."

After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

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    • I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."

    When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?

    When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.

  • 0

    • Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."

    Rich person: "Then buy a house!"

    Here's some of my weird jokes:

    What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.

    Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.

    Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.

    It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

    Riddles not jokes.

    What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

    What has bark but no bite?

    There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

    What has holes but can carry water?

    What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

    What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

    What can you catch but not throw?

    And last one:

    What can rule, but not command?

    Tell me the answers in the comments.

    Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

    One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.

    Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?

    Because they can actually buy a house.

    So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.

    And I asked him what he is doing.

    Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.

    Me: Erm... Are you a simp?

    Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.

    KG: You have it?

    Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?

    KG: Sure!

    KG then went to her room.

    Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-

    KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.

    KG: Have fun playing with them!

    Guy: WHAT THE FU-