I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister, my mum said "step on a crack break your mother's back" I stepped on a crack, my sister has been in the hospital ever since
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom. Thank you nurse.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards? DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
As a doctor myself, there nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital Just to test their patients
Yo so small that wen you go the doctor he doesn’t no you there
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen
Did you hear about the new pixar movie, it's about cancer patients. It's called finding Kemo
You here about the roman numeral hospital
All they have is IVs!
Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!
walked in to a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage
why did the doctor check out earth? he had a tummy quake
What’s the most common name for cancer patients
Luke (lukemia)
a women wakes up in a hospital after a accident and yells "doctor doctor i cant feel my legs" and the doctor say "i know i amputated your arms"
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said “ Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.” The lady asks, “Am I pregnant? “. To which the Doctor replied “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
Today, I operated on a little girl, she needed O- negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O- negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “so when will I die”? she thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
I turned the light on and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
