Hospital jokes
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
no thank u for sleeping
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.