Hospital jokes
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Memes
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.