One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
Isn't having Depersonalization mean that your like the animatronics off of fnaf/five night of freddies (if you don't know what Depersonalization is look it up)
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
The walking dead
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What's the most horrifying video in the world?
Logan Paul vlogs.
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
