Scary jokes
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
Women are so scary. Does anybody know what is wrong with them?
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.
What鈥檚 a nut鈥檚 favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Boo! 馃懟馃巸馃拃馃暦锔忦煏革笍鈽狅笍 (So scary, right?)
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Remember 2000? It was scary.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.