Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie? It's always someone you know.
Freddy: Im coming for u >:)
Me:god no help
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you? Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
I saw stephen king using an atm it is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down
I am sick and tired of horror movies it is always the stupid ones that die first. when you see a guy in a dark bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; Don't scream run.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf and he worked at a morgue. So one time poor Dan got confused and start having sex with the rotting corpse. He then came home, and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house
Moo mooo moooooooo(screaming)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What douse steven king call his wife... The black hole
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gunna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like â re reâ and your like â re re â yourself motherf*ucker and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SUPRIZE the psychoâs IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
if stephen hawking was in a horror movie .... would he make his robot try and shout âaaaaaaaaah help me , i canât move iâm too scaredâ ???
There's a new horror movie about Steven Hawking
It's called unplugged đ¤Ł
there was a dude, he was yo dawg you wanna die? I said what is this, Friday the thirteenth?
one day a man was walking in a ally when a crack head atakes him so then man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home when he gose to his wife she asks him if he saw her dad.
I have a trans friend. He is in a polymers relationship and would be straight if they had a dick
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry everyone, I punch the wrong buttons and we are heading to DC instead of New York and we are about to run out of fuel. He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world and I'll make the decision. Tony you go first, our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging." Tony jumps off.
Francis,my friend, you go next, pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me." Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history." Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and ......"
Greta interrjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
