Horror

Horror Jokes

Exorcism

What's a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

Mama

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Vampire

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.

Baby

What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten!

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  • Baby

    Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.

    Titanic

    What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?

    Georgie floated!

    Sandpaper

    I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

    Mama

    Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!

    Mask

    Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

    Butt

    Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

    And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

    Baby

    "Knock knock!"

    "Who's there?"

    "Baby!"

    "Baby who?"

    "Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

    "No thanks, I already ate."