Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zomBEE.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
