Horror jokes
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
The walking dead.
know what man would I be without some FNAF memes
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.