Horror jokes
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Foxy is red,
Bonnie is blue,
And Golden Freddy will kill you.
The walking dead.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.