Who is Santa's favourite singer? Elf-is Presley!
What is worse to have - a dead baby or dead Santa Claus? Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments
why do Emos love Christmas? so they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. hope u liked it, happy holidays!
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
What is a pedophiles favorite job?
The mall santa.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved...and shot her.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.
why dont asian kids believe in santa clause?
because theyre the ones who made the toys
What’s the best thing about Alzheimer’s? You can hide your own Easter Egg’s!!
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic
Where do math teachers go on vacation times Square
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What is Santa Claus and Bill Cosby having in common? They both come while you’re asleep
Why did the silly boy 👦 take the Christmas tree 🎄 to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What nationality is Santa Claus? - North Polish.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza. Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father
