Holiday jokes
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
Happy April Fool's Day.
I am the fool, now fuck me.
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
What is Labor Day? That’s when mommies have their babes.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.