Holiday jokes
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.
Orphan: Where... Oh.
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.