Holiday jokes
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Silly Sonka’s Valentine’s Day *vomit sound* Card
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet... What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
What did the blind, deaf, and dumb orphans get for Christmas?...
Cancer.
What do you read on Halloween?