Holiday jokes
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.