"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
Holiday Jokes
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Why do orphans have 363 days on the calendar? Because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day!
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
What did Sally get for Christmas? Ligma?
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
I usually hang up Halloween decorations,
but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
