Sprinkle jokes

I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.

Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?

He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

A father tells his 10-year-old son...

"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."

His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.

You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

What's the difference between a cop and bacon?

Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?

Who else would think of adding gas?

Curry.

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.