Hitler jokes
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
What is Hitler's least favorite month? Jewly.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.