Hitler jokes
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball? Because he did nazi it coming!
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.