Hitler jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.

The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.

Why did Hitler kill himself?

He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.

When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

"One, he killed himself."

What car does Hitler drive?

A Fuhrerri.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

What did Hitler get for his birthday?

A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.

What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”

Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”

What was one cool thing about Hitler?

He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.

What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?

Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.

What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

Hitler knows when to kill himself!