Hitler

Hitler Jokes

Feminist

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

  • 7
  • Vegetable

    If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

    I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

  • 5
  • Quote

    Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

    "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

    Teacher

    When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

    "One, he killed himself."

  • 3
  • Guy

    I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

    It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

    People

    I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

    But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

    Genocide

    Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

    He never learned to mix the colors.

    Bullet

    My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

    I told him, "Probably a bullet."

    Submarine

    Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

  • 9
  • Thought

    What was one cool thing about Hitler?

    He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.

  • 2
  • Emo

    What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

    Hitler knows when to kill himself!

    Card

    What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?

    BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON

  • 0
  • Car

    Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!

  • 2