Pro tip: how to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make you child hold the nail.
i'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to new york so i flew them to new york and hit the towers that was a tragic story
when you go to a baseball game and they say heads up and put your head up and the ball hits you in the head.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people? I'D HIT THAT
little Johnny is my son and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a burger king whopper to Moscow then take revenge for little Johnny!!!
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
bc who are they gonna tell,there mom?
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Why does wet have a big head. Because he got hit by a wetaroid
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn't shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
What happened when the dog played golf? He hit the ball into the ruff.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans .Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
So apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms”
“Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends”
“Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground”
“Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag”
“Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus”
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly
Because whenever they hit the corner they build a shop
If you hit a Indian person on the forehead with a dart is it considered a bullseye?
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the world trade center? Partly Cloudy with scattered passengers!
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4 and he started crying, what's he gon do? tell his family? XD
why did the orphan cross the road
so he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone"
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Man: aw man im having a bad day Man's friend:same Man:so why did you have a bad day my brother got hit by the school bus Man's friend: i got fired as a bus driver Man: oh great heavens
