Hit jokes

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.

"Ow! You hit the spot!"

I got in a cage fight.

The hamster didn't know what hit him!

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.

Why do the brakes keep squealing?

Because the driver hit it too hard.

Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna

"What did we hit?"

"I don't know, a rock."

I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"